


All The Million Hours

by heyjupiter



Series: Day By Day [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, M/M, Nightmares, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Iron Man 3, Science Bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 16:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18578716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: It only took Bruce a few minutes to decide to trust Tony Stark, but it took him many sleepless nights to decide to trust himself.





	All The Million Hours

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to volunteerfd for beta reading and inspiring the title, which is from the song "All the Wasted Time" from the musical Parade, which I have not seen because I'm a Fake Musicals Girl.
> 
> This is for the "Sleepy" square on my [Science Bros Bingo card](https://twentyghosts.tumblr.com/sciencebrosbingo).

Eight hundred and seven days after his last incident, Bruce felt the Other Guy rise dangerously close to the surface. But Bruce managed to maintain control, and he went with Natasha Romanoff--willingly, though not without some misgivings. 

Hours after Natasha cornered Bruce on the outskirts of Kolkata, Bruce found himself trapped on the huge flying helicarrier with an increasing sense of foreboding. He wasn't sure what was worse--the fear that aliens might destroy the Earth, or the fear that Bruce himself would destroy this aircraft and everyone on it. He'd been fidgeting and counting his breaths and doing everything he could to stay focused, when Tony Stark nonchalantly zapped him in the side. Bruce looked into Tony's brown eyes and saw mischief, but also, inexplicably, _trust_. 

Minutes later, Bruce had a real colleague and even friend. Tony understood Bruce's research and Bruce understood Tony's jokes. Bruce had been so lonely for so long, he'd forgotten what this was like. Being with Tony made Bruce feel like maybe they _could_ find the Tesseract; being with Tony made Bruce feel like maybe he wouldn't have to be alone forever.

The night after the Battle of New York, Tony took Bruce home with him after their shawarma dinner with the rest of the team. Like a stray puppy, Bruce was fed and given a warm bed. That night, he had the best night of sleep he'd gotten in years. New York made him nervous, but somehow, Tony made him feel safe.

The next morning, Bruce met Tony's beautiful, kind, smart girlfriend. He realized he must have been misinterpreting the way Tony treated him. It had seemed so unlikely that someone like Tony could care about Bruce. Of course, Bruce cared about stray dogs--he was always moved by their plight and fed them whenever he could. He supposed that must be how he seemed to someone like Tony, something bedraggled and pitiable. Bruce felt stupid for thinking he might have appeared any other way to someone as brilliant and handsome as Tony Stark.

Three days later, Bruce quietly thanked Tony for his hospitality and left New York, ignoring Tony’s obviously token protests.

Seventeen days after that, Bruce finally stopped wandering and settled down for a time in Guatemala, working at a rural clinic.

Three days after he got his first under-the-table paycheck, he bought a cheap pre-paid cell phone and sent Tony a text: _If the team ever needs the Other Guy again, let me know._ He'd rather hear it from Tony than get another visit from Natasha.

One minute after sending the text, Bruce's new phone lit up with a call from an unknown caller. Bruce answered it and listened to a lengthy monologue from Tony about how worried they'd been about him and how much they'd missed him. Finally, Tony paused to breathe, and Bruce said, "I'm fine, Tony, but please only call me if it's an emergency." He hung up and declined the call that followed immediately. Bruce knew he had done the right thing by leaving, and it would only hurt to consider the alternative.

One hundred and twenty days later, the Quinjet landed on the edge of Bruce's village to bring the Other Guy to fight a misplaced Frost Giant. 

The morning after that, Bruce woke up feeling well-rested, but hungry and disoriented. It took him a moment to realize he must be back at Stark Tower--Avengers Tower. He was dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt that he didn't remember acquiring. The second he set foot out of bed, JARVIS said, "Dr. Banner, welcome back. Master Stark requests your presence in the kitchen on the 70th floor at your convenience."

Bruce snorted, because nothing about this was convenient. But still, he went. If nothing else, it would be preferable to get some shoes before he left. Bruce regretted his decision the second he saw Tony sitting at the kitchen counter; he'd thought some time apart would have made him less vulnerable to Tony's smile, but he was wrong.

"Banner! Good to see you. As, you know, _you_ , not that I don't _love_ the Other Guy too. Coffee?"

Bruce nodded and silently accepted the offered mug.

"Soo, I was wondering if you'd do a teeny-tiny favor, since you're here and all?"

"What's the favor?"

"Well, I've been working on a new application of the arc reactor tech, and I keep hitting a wall. I think a fresh pair of eyes on the project could really help. You mind taking a look at it?"

"I...sure, Tony. That's really more your area of expertise than mine. But yeah, I can take a look before I head back out."

Tony's smile flickered. "You really don't have to leave, you know."

Then Pepper drifted into the kitchen. "Tony! You know Dr. Shen said no strenuous activity until your ribs have a chance to heal." 

Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm sitting down and drinking a coffee with my old pal. It could hardly be _less_ strenuous."

"Yeah, but you look like you're up to something. I know that scheming look in your eyes."

"I--well, I was just doing some light engineering scheming. But Bruce is going to help me! He'll do the heavy lifting, right, Bruce?"

"...Right."

"Thank god you're back, Bruce," Pepper said, with apparent sincerity. "Did Tony feed you yet? There's plenty of stuff in the fridge."

Two days later, Bruce and Tony finished developing an arc reactor-powered portable X-ray device. 

The work itself had been thrilling; Bruce felt like he'd been using all of his brain again.

The work environment had been nauseating; every time Tony smiled at him, Bruce's longing caused him physical pain. Every time Tony casually bumped against him or rubbed his shoulders, Bruce thought he'd jump out of his skin.

At dinner that night, Bruce said, "I guess I can get out of your hair now, huh?"

Pepper said, "Oh, no, Bruce, please stay for a little longer. At least until Tony's ribs heal? You can keep an eye on him, keep him from doing anything _too_ stupid."

Tony scoffed. "I don't need a babysitter, Pepper."

"Could have fooled me," Pepper muttered.

"I could use a lab partner, though," Tony continued. "Just think what else we could do with this technology! If we can streamline the manufacturing process, we could have one in every clinic in the world, even the ones in the middle of nowhere where Bruce likes to live."

"I--I guess I could probably stay a little longer. If it's helpful."

Tony grinned so hard, it made Bruce's chest hurt.

Three weeks later, Tony's bruised ribs were mostly healed, and the SHIELD doctor cleared him to resume light training.

The next day, Bruce thanked Tony and Pepper for their hospitality. 

"Are you leaving so soon?" Pepper asked.

"It--it's just not safe for me to be here. There's too many--too much--"

"You don't have to live in the Tower, you know," Tony said. "We could find you your own place somewhere."

"I, still, the city…"

"A little place upstate, maybe?" Tony asked. "Somewhere with running water and Wi-Fi?"

Bruce shook his head. "I don't need all that, I just need…" He needed to get away from what he couldn't have. "I just need some space."

"Where are you going?" Pepper asked. "Back to Guatemala?"

"No...I'd better start over. I'll figure something out."

"So...you don't have a plane ticket?" Pepper asked, eyebrows raised.

Tony said, "Just tell us where you're going, Bruce. You know I'll figure it out anyway, you might as well save me the step."

"I really don't know where I'm going," Bruce admitted. "I usually just keep moving and wait for something to feel right."

"And you're _sure_ New York couldn't feel right?" Tony asked.

Bruce shook his head. "Sorry."

Tony dropped Bruce off at the airport with a too-full backpack, including a brand new unlocked, untraceable, solar-powered StarkPhone.

Two weeks later, Bruce texted Tony from rural Mongolia: _This feels right. Call me if you need the Other Guy._

Seventy-seven days after that, Bruce took the train into the city to restock supplies. The station was too crowded; people pressed up too close to Bruce, made him too aware of his skin. He looked down at the ground and tried to keep moving forward until he found a quiet place to catch his breath. A familiar face caught his eye, and he picked up a discarded newspaper. Tony Stark was on the front page. Bruce was still struggling with the Mongolian Cyrillic alphabet, but he thought it said--he thought it said--it _couldn't_ say that Tony was _dead_. Bruce must have been misreading it. Panic was hindering his already shoddy reading comprehension skills. Yet further down on the page was an image of Tony's Malibu home in complete ruins. Tony had showed Bruce pictures of it and insisted that Bruce simply _had_ to come visit him there. But Bruce never had, and now he never would.

Bruce clutched the old newspaper and ran, mumbling apologies as he bumped people out of his way. The Other Guy was screaming in his head, demanding to be let out to express his rage and sorrow. Bruce ran until he was on the outskirts of the city, until he found a place where he could finally sink to his knees and let the Other Guy take over.

Two days after that, Bruce woke up surrounded by a herd of sheep. He could hear running water, and he carefully made his way through the sheep to a small stream. He cupped water to his face and drank. He wished he still had his clothes, not to mention his StarkPhone. He wished he still had that newspaper. He had no idea how much time had passed since Tony's death. He'd probably missed the funeral. Still, he felt that he should make an attempt to get back to the US. He could at least give condolences to Pepper, hopefully without any mention of the uncomfortable attraction he'd felt for her late boyfriend.

After three full days of uncomfortable travel, Bruce emerged from the subway, stumbled two blocks, and looked up at Avengers Tower. He suddenly realized he had no idea what the fuck he was doing there, or if anyone would even let him in. He stood on the sidewalk staring, as passersby wove their way around him with irritation.

After an unknown length of time staring at the building, the front door opened and a ghost walked out. 

Yet Tony looked suspiciously alive, especially when his face lit up with a smile. "Bruce!" He threw open his arms and swept Bruce into a hug. "I couldn't believe it when JARVIS said you were here, I thought for sure his facial recognition must have been misfiring. That'll teach me to doubt my flawless tech."

Bruce collapsed limply against Tony. He felt warm and solid and _alive_.

"Bruce? You okay? Why don't we get you inside, stop blocking the sidewalk? I know you've been away, but you remember how sidewalks work, right? They're for walking?"

"I...thought you were dead," Bruce finally managed. "I saw you...your house...in the news."

"Oh, _that_?" Tony gave a breezy laugh. "That was weeks ago. Reports of my death, as they say, were highly exaggerated. Come inside, I'll tell you all about it."

Mutely, Bruce let Tony lead him inside the tower to a private elevator up to Tony's quarters, where Tony launched into a story that somehow started thirteen years ago. Exhausted from his hard travels, Bruce sat down on a chair that felt like a cloud and almost immediately fell asleep. 

"Sorry, was I boring you?" Tony asked lightly.

"Hmm? Oh, no, Tony, sorry, I--"

"I'm just teasing you. I should have--no offense, you do look like you haven't slept in about a week."

Bruce rubbed his eyes and thought about it. He'd dozed a bit here and there while traveling, but it had been a few days since he'd had anything that could properly be called _sleep_. "It's been awhile, yeah."

"I got carried away. I just--I'm glad you're here, Bruce. Even if you came under false pretenses. How about if I take you back to your room and we try to catch up again after you've had a nap? And, ah, maybe a shower?"

Bruce looked down at his borrowed clothes. They'd once been nice--he'd hoped to look presentable in case he did end up attending a funeral. But he had definitely picked up some wear and tear on his travels. "I--yeah. That sounds good. Thanks, Tony." Tony led Bruce back to the room he'd slept in on his last visit; it seemed like it had been untouched since then. Bruce lingered in the doorway for a minute and said, "I--I'm glad you're not dead."

Tony smiled. "The feeling's mutual, buddy."

The next morning, JARVIS guided Bruce to a kitchen, where Tony was waiting for him with coffee and a smile. Bruce accepted both and settled into a chair.

"So, ah, do you think you could try again, to tell me what happened?" 

Tony grinned. "Sure. If I notice you fading, I'll try to refill your coffee before I lose you entirely."

Bruce sipped his coffee and listened intently. When Tony finally finished, Bruce had one question: "Tony, why didn't you call me?"

"You made it pretty clear to only call in the Other Guy if it was a real emergency. I had this handled. Well, me and Pepper and Rhodey had it handled."

"I'm so sorry. I...I would have helped. If I'd known. I had my phone, the...I only lost it a few days ago."

"I did think I might have heard from you sooner, but I guess I didn't take into account your Amish lifestyle."

"I came as soon as I heard! I didn't realize...I…"

Tony shook his head. "It's okay, Banner. Everything's fine. But, hey, since you're here...wanna help me out with something?"

Bruce smiled. "Sure. I--oh, god, first, JARVIS, I meant to ask, was there any...any news out of Ulaanbaatar this week?"

"Of course, Dr. Banner. What news are you looking for?"

"Was anyone hurt? By, uh, the Hulk?"

"I have no reports of that. Not anywhere in Mongolia, nor the world. No Hulk sightings at all since your last outing with the Avengers."

Bruce let out a long exhale. "Thanks, JARVIS."

"You unleashed the Other Guy on Mongolia, huh?" Tony asked.

"I got some bad news," Bruce replied, with a weak smile. "Some bad news that didn't even turn out to be true."

"Aww, I didn't know you guys cared!" Tony said teasingly.

"Of course I care!" Bruce snapped. He took a deep breath and dug his nails into his palms. "I...sorry. I didn't mean to yell. It's just been a hard...week."

Tony's expression grew serious. "Well, now you know what it's like."

"What?"

"I...I always wonder, if I'd ever hear if anything happened to you, or if you'd just vanish off the face of the earth without a trace."

"I imagine if anything happened to me, the Other Guy would leave a pretty visible trail of destruction."

"Hmm, I do actually find that slightly comforting."

"That makes one of us," Bruce muttered.

"Anyway, since we're both alive, and all, how about some breakfast? I should feed you before I put you to work, right?"

"That would be great." 

Tony opened the fridge and produced more food than two people could comfortably eat in a day, although Bruce managed to put a serious dent in it. When he finally cleared his plate, Tony asked, "Did you get enough to eat?"

"More than enough."

"If you get hungry later, there's, well, plenty. Looks like...maybe you haven't been eating much lately."

Bruce crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm fine."

Tony's expressive face looked skeptical, but he said, "Okay. Well, so, here's what I'm working on…" and projected large-scale blueprints over the kitchen table.

Bruce blinked. "What's all this?"

"Well, it just seems like it's time to move the Avengers out of Manhattan. It's...you know, we tend to attract some collateral damage, and maybe it would make more sense to have our base somewhere less densely-populated."

Bruce nodded. "That does make sense. Uh, you know I'm not an architect, right?"

"No, I know, but you'd still have valuable feedback. Especially, see, the whole lower level is Hulk-proof. Isn't it?"

Bruce studied the specs carefully. "That...would probably do it, yeah. Where, um, do you have somewhere in mind for the building? Location-wise?"

"Oh, yeah, I've got a good-sized plot of land about three hours upstate."

"Bit of a commute, huh?" Bruce asked, thinking of the business meetings that Pepper's job required far more often than Tony's did.

"Eh, I probably won't need to come back into the city that often. And it's not that far by air."

"Right."

They spent the rest of the day making small tweaks to Tony's elaborate plan, with frequent pauses for Tony to shove snacks at Bruce.

Ten hours later, over pizza, Tony looked at Bruce expectantly. "So? Will you stay there?"

"What?"

"I just feel like I've covered all of your usual excuses, right? It's rural, it won't be too crowded, there's plenty of Hulk-proof spaces, there's a lab to meet your exact research specifications...you even approved the kitchen appliances. So."

"Well...I think I was doing good where I was. Helping people, I mean."

"But we need your help too, Bruce. I don't mean to...uh, I'm sure you were doing great work. But there are a lot of doctors, and there's only one _you_. The breakthroughs you could make with the right resources...you could change the world. _We_ could change the world."

Bruce took a huge bite of pizza to avoid answering.

Tony sighed. "Look, if it's--I get it, I've heard I can be hard to work with. I can leave you alone. You'll have your own lab, you can work alone and meet up for dinner after. Or never. Whatever you want."

"Tony, it's...it's not that I don't like working with you."

"Then what is it? Please?"

Bruce chewed his pizza slowly. Tony waited, letting the silence fill the room.

"Tony, it's not that I don't like working with you. It's just that it...that it isn't safe."

"But it is safe for you to treat patients in rural clinics? Screaming kids and, I don't know, gross seeping wounds? Those are safe?"

"It's...what I can do. I don't know," Bruce said helplessly. It was true that there was a certain hypocrisy to the way he lived. But he'd already tried living in complete isolation and he couldn't quite bear it; he needed to use his skills to help _someone_ , even if Bruce's very presence also potentially put them in danger. 

"Could you just give it a try? Just...wait until the building is ready, and just try living there for a little while, and if you completely hate it, you can go back off to Timbuktu and I won't bother you anymore."

Bruce hesitated, and Tony said, "It's my retroactive death bed wish, from that time I fake died. So you pretty much _have_ to."

"Well. When you put it like that," Bruce said with a slow smile.

Two days after that, Tony casually mentioned that Pepper had rented a place in Malibu, that he and Pepper were "taking a break."

A week after that, Tony took Bruce and Rhodey upstate to see the foundation being poured for the new Avengers compound. 

The next day, Tony said, "Is there anything else we can do? To make you feel safe?"

Bruce bit his lip. "What if we upgraded your suit?"

Tony's eyes lit up. "That _is_ my favorite method of problem solving."

"And then if…well, then you could protect yourself."

"Oh, the Other Guy won't hurt me," Tony said confidently. "But still, seems like a fun project."

Five days later, they completed the first Hulkbuster prototype. Tony loved it, but Bruce realized it still wasn't enough.

Eight days later, they launched the Veronica satellite. Bruce felt a moment of something like calm. 

One minute after they'd confirmed the satellite was online, Tony high-fived Bruce. Then his hand lingered on Bruce's, then he leaned in and said, "What if I kissed you now?" Bruce froze and nodded slowly, his calm vanishing.

Five seconds later, Tony kissed Bruce.

Thirty minutes later, Tony pulled away from Bruce and gave him a blinding smile. "You know, I was never quite sure if you liked me or not, but I guess that settles it."

"I always liked you, too much I think," Bruce admitted breathlessly.

"I bet you could like me even more." Tony wrapped his arms around Bruce's neck and proved his point.

Four hours later, they left the workshop and went to bed together, where Tony proved himself to be a considerate and careful lover, patient with Bruce's fearful awkwardness. The Other Guy remained calm, but still, after Tony fell asleep, Bruce quietly slipped out of Tony's bed and went back to his own.

Three weeks later, there had been enough progress made on the Avengers compound that Tony suggested he and Bruce move up there to start settling in and supervise the rest of construction.

That night, they broke in the bed in Bruce's new, Hulk-proof bedroom. Bruce had gotten into the habit of waiting until Tony fell asleep after sex and then returning to his own bed for the rest of the night, but now Tony was _in_ Bruce's bed. Bruce still didn't feel safe falling asleep next to Tony, so he crept down the hall and settled on the sofa in the lower level common room. He was too anxious to sleep, consumed with thoughts about how he could possibly bring up a request for a separate bedroom without hurting Tony's feelings. He turned on a nature documentary in an attempt to settle his mind.

Two hours later, Tony joined him on the couch. "Sorry," he said, guilt shining in his large brown eyes. "My nightmares always bothered Pepper, too."

Bruce blinked. "You had a nightmare? Sorry, Tony, are you okay?"

Tony laughed. "It's sweet of you to pretend you didn't notice, I guess, but it's pretty obvious why you've been leaving our bed every night. I don't blame you, I just…" He sighed.

"Tony, I--I'm sorry, no, I just...I've been waiting until you fell asleep and leaving, I never knew you were having nightmares. It just makes me too nervous to share a bed with you, even though...even though I'd like to." Shyly, he slipped an arm around Tony, and Tony leaned against Bruce's shoulder. 

"Too nervous?" Tony asked. "C'mon, Bruce, we're in a whole Hulk-proof floor."

"But Tony, _you're_ not Hulk-proof."

"Have you ever even transformed in your sleep?"

"Yes."

"When was the last time it happened?"

"In my sleep? One thousand, three hundred, and forty-two days ago." It had been so hard immediately after Bruce's accident; the mildest nightmare would make him wake up as the Other Guy. Bruce still had nightmares, but now the Other Guy mostly seemed to understand that they weren't real.

"You...god, Bruce, you really do keep count like that?"

"Yes."

Tony wrapped his arms around Bruce's neck and kissed him gently. "I hate that."

"I find it kind of comforting."

"Yeah. Well, that _is_ a lot of days."

"It doesn't mean it won't happen again, though. It's not like, if I get to two thousand, I've broken the curse and I'm free forever. It could still happen, and I just...if…" Bruce trailed off. "I just couldn't bear it if I lost control and hurt you."

"Don't I get a vote, though? I mean, what if I calculate the odds and think it's worth the risk?"

"I don't know that I trust your judgment."

"Hmm. Well, it's not the first time I've heard that argument." Tony gently stroked his fingers through Bruce's hair. "I just don't...I don't know what else we can do, Bruce. I want you to feel safe. You _are_ safe."

"But _you_ might not be safe with me. It's still good what we have, though. It's...it's better than I ever thought I could have."

Tony kissed his cheek. "Yeah, it's pretty great. But the thing is, though, I'm pretty greedy, and I really want more. What if...what if JARVIS monitored your heart rate and woke you up if, you know, the Other Guy was on his way?"

"Hmm. Maybe...I think we might need some more data. Heart rate is a factor, but it's not only that..."

"Mm, I love it when you talk data to me. Seriously. Let's work on it."

"Okay," Bruce agreed, and then Tony climbed off of Bruce and stood up. "Wait, now?"

"Why not? We're not sleeping."

"Fair."

Five hours later, using the data they'd gathered for the Hulkbuster project, they'd come up with a protocol for JARVIS that Bruce felt comfortable with. Tony gave him a celebratory kiss and said, "Honestly, Bruce, why didn't you just _say_ this is what you were worried about? This was easy."

Twelve hours after that, Bruce fell asleep with Tony's arm draped over him.

Two and a half hours later, a moaning, flailing Tony jostled Bruce into awakeness. Bruce immediately recognized his distress and murmured, "Hey, shh, it's okay. You're safe."

Tony woke up and clung to Bruce, breathing hard. Finally, he caught his breath and whispered, "Sorry."

"Shh." The thought of Tony feeling such panic and pain by himself for so many nights made Bruce's heart hurt. He'd only wanted to protect Tony, but instead he'd caused more pain.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm so glad I'm here too," Bruce said, gently rubbing Tony's back. "I...people don't usually feel better because _I'm_ around."

"Well, I'm _much_ smarter than most people." Bruce laughed, but Tony didn't.

Five minutes later, Tony rolled off of Bruce's chest and curled into a fetal position. 

Thirty seconds after that, he reached back for Bruce's arm and dragged it over himself. Bruce rolled over, following the path of his arm to wrap around Tony and hold him tight.

"So you're staying, right?" Tony asked, his voice barely audible in the darkness.

"For as many days and as many nights as you'll have me," Bruce replied, his mouth close to Tony's ear.

"Mmm. Good. Thousands. Millions."

"I'll do my best."

"I'll take it." 

One minute after that, Tony's breath evened out into peaceful sleep.

Bruce spent the next ten minutes peacefully counting Tony's one hundred and fifty-seven breaths until he finally joined his lover in sleep.


End file.
